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Thread: Sharing Laughs
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03-12-2014 10:26 AM #1061New ROGer Array
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@MissKokane, that was absolutely perfect! Too true to be funny, but still is.
@Nackers, good ones, as always.
I am disturbed because I cannot break my system...found out there were others trying to cope! We have a support group on here, if your system will not break, please join!
http://rog.asus.com/forum/group.php?groupid=16
We now have 178 people whose systems will not break! Yippee!
LINUX Users, we have a group!
http://rog.asus.com/forum/group.php?groupid=23
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03-12-2014 11:46 AM #1062ROG Court Jester Array
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Thanks Zyg..
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03-12-2014 12:07 PM #1063imMortal Kombatant Array Myk SilentShadow PC Specs
Myk SilentShadow PC Specs Motherboard ASUS Rampage IV Formula Processor Intel i7 3930K Memory (part number) 8GB Corsair XMS3 1600 Graphics Card #1 ASUS Radeon 7970 3GD5 Sound Card ROG Xonar Phoebus Monitor Samsung SyncMaster SA300 Storage #1 Corsair Neutron 128GB Storage #2 Seagate 2TB CPU Cooler Corsair A50 Pro Air Cooler Case BitFenix Merc Alpha Power Supply Thermaltake Litepower 700W Keyboard Alienware TactX Keyboard Mouse Tesoro Gandiva H1L OS Win7 Ultimate x64 
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HAHAHAHA love both of them MissK and Nackers!!
made my day even better
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03-13-2014 10:06 AM #1064ROG Court Jester Array
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Thank Myk... Always glad to hear that
Last edited by Nackers; 03-13-2014 at 10:08 AM.
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03-13-2014 10:27 AM #1065ROG Court Jester Array
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Microsoft's Latest Venture
News just in of Microsoft's latest venture: Microsoft Corporation has taken another step toward dominating every aspect of American life with the introduction of Contraceptive98, a suite of applications designed for users who engage in sex. Microsoft has been a pioneer in peer-to-peer connectivity and plug and play.
It believes these technologies will give it substantial leverage in penetrating the copulation enhancement market. The product addresses two important user concerns: the need for virus protection and the need for a firewall to ensure the non-propagation of human beings.
The Contraceptive98 suite consists of three products: Condom98, DeFetus 1.0 (from Sementec), and AIDScan 2.1 (from Norton Utilities). A free copy of Intercourse Explorer 4.0 is bundled in the package. The suite also comes in two expanded versions. Contraceptive98 Professional is the Client/Server edition, for professionals in the sexual services sector. Contraceptive98 Small Business Edition is a package for startups, aimed at the housewife and gigolo niches.
While Contraceptive98 does not address nontraditional copulatory channels, future plug-ins are planned for next year.
OPERATION: Only one node in a peer-to-peer connection needs to install the package.
At installation, the Condom98 software checks for minimum hardware. If the user meets the requirements, the product installs and is sufficiently scaleable to meet most requirements. After installation, operation commences. One precaution is that the user must be sure they have sufficient RAM to complete the session. When the session is complete, a disconnect is initiated, and the user gets the message, it is now safe to turn off your partner.
DRAWBACKS: Usability testers report that frequent failures were a major concern during beta testing. General Protection Fault was the most serious error encountered. Early versions had numerous bugs, but most of these have been eliminated. The product needs to be installed each time its used.
CONCLUSION: Contraceptive98 is a robust product. Despite its drawbacks, it is reasonably good value for its $49.95 price tag, and is far superior to its shareware version. Hopefully, future releases (of the software, that is) will add missing functionality, such as Backout and Restore, uninterruptible Power Supply and Onboard Camera.
Microsoft CEO Bill Gates is optimistic that "Our contraceptive products will help users do to each other what we've been doing to our customers for years."
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03-13-2014 10:38 AM #1066imMortal Kombatant Array Myk SilentShadow PC Specs
Myk SilentShadow PC Specs Motherboard ASUS Rampage IV Formula Processor Intel i7 3930K Memory (part number) 8GB Corsair XMS3 1600 Graphics Card #1 ASUS Radeon 7970 3GD5 Sound Card ROG Xonar Phoebus Monitor Samsung SyncMaster SA300 Storage #1 Corsair Neutron 128GB Storage #2 Seagate 2TB CPU Cooler Corsair A50 Pro Air Cooler Case BitFenix Merc Alpha Power Supply Thermaltake Litepower 700W Keyboard Alienware TactX Keyboard Mouse Tesoro Gandiva H1L OS Win7 Ultimate x64
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OMG!!!!! that last line has me in stitches!!! oh good lord I can't breathe hahahahahaha!!!
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03-13-2014 11:01 AM #1067ROG Court Jester Array
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Not a bad one hey, I know it's boarder line with the site rules but I laughed so hard when I found it I just had to share it..
Originally Posted by Myk SilentShadow
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03-13-2014 11:08 AM #1068imMortal Kombatant Array Myk SilentShadow PC Specs
Myk SilentShadow PC Specs Motherboard ASUS Rampage IV Formula Processor Intel i7 3930K Memory (part number) 8GB Corsair XMS3 1600 Graphics Card #1 ASUS Radeon 7970 3GD5 Sound Card ROG Xonar Phoebus Monitor Samsung SyncMaster SA300 Storage #1 Corsair Neutron 128GB Storage #2 Seagate 2TB CPU Cooler Corsair A50 Pro Air Cooler Case BitFenix Merc Alpha Power Supply Thermaltake Litepower 700W Keyboard Alienware TactX Keyboard Mouse Tesoro Gandiva H1L OS Win7 Ultimate x64
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And boy am I glad you did!! Originally Posted by Nackers
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03-13-2014 10:06 PM #1069TeamROG Moderator Array xeromist PC Specs
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Nah. It's not abusive and doesn't use any foul or derogatory language. I approve completely. Originally Posted by Nackers
* Support disease research with Folding@Home *
< < < Click the drop-down above my avatar for my PC specs!
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03-14-2014 01:41 PM #1070ROG Court Jester Array
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A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.
"Careful ... CAREFUL!! Put in some more butter!! Oh my Gosh!! You're cooking too many at once.
TOO MANY!! Turn them!! TURN THEM NOW!! We need more butter. Oh my Gosh!! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER?!
They're going to STICK!! Careful ... CAREFUL!! be CAREFUL!! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never!!
Turn them! HURRY UP!! Are you CRAZY? Have you lost your mind? Don't forget to salt them.
You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!!" The wife stared at him.
"What the hell is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving"
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