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Thread: Sharing Laughs

  1. #1171
    ROG Guru: Brown Belt Array MeanMachine PC Specs
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    Why English is so HARD to Learn.


    1. The bandage was wound around the wound
    2. The farm was used to produce produce
    3. The dump was so full it had to refuse more refuse
    4. We must polish the Polish furniture
    5, He could lead if he would get the lead out
    6. The soldier decided to desert his desert in the dessert
    7. As there was no time like the present he felt it was time to present the present
    8. A bass was painted on the bass drum
    9. When shot at ,the dove dove into the bushes
    10. I will not object to the object
    11. The case for the invalid was invalid
    12. There was a row among the oarsmen on how to row
    13. They were too close to the door to close it.
    14. The child does funny things, Where does the buck stop
    15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into the sewer
    16. The farmer taught his sow to sow
    17. The wind was too strong to wind the sails
    18. After a number of injections my jaw got number
    19. Upon seeing the tear in the painting, I shed a tear
    20. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests
    21. How can I intimate that to my most intimate friend?....
    We owe our existence to the scum of the earth, Cyanobacteria

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  2. #1172
    ROG Court Jester Array Nackers's Avatar
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    When I was younger I hated going to weddings ... it seemed that all of my aunts and the grandmotherly types used to come up to me, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, YOUR NEXT. They stopped that after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

  3. #1173
    imMortal Kombatant Array Myk SilentShadow PC Specs
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nackers View Post
    When I was younger I hated going to weddings ... it seemed that all of my aunts and the grandmotherly types used to come up to me, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, YOUR NEXT. They stopped that after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
    Hehe been a while since I last heard that one, still love it though!

  4. #1174
    imMortal Kombatant Array Myk SilentShadow PC Specs
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    ~Walks off whistling~


  5. #1175
    ROG Guru: Brown Belt Array MeanMachine PC Specs
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    Harry and Sam were talking;

    Harry, Hey I got married
    Sam, Thats good!
    Harry, No thats bad, Shes ugly
    Sam, Oh thats bad
    Harry, No thats good, Shes rich
    Sam, Thats good
    Harry, No thats bad, She wont give me a cent
    Sam, Thats bad
    Harry, No thats good, She bought me a big house
    Sam, Thats good
    Harry, No thats bad, The house burned down
    Sam, Thats bad
    Harry, No thats good, She was in it.
    We owe our existence to the scum of the earth, Cyanobacteria

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  6. #1176
    ROG Court Jester Array Nackers's Avatar
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    A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students.
    The teacher asked, “Harry, what’s your problem?”
    Harry answered, “I’m too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!”
    Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal’s office.
    While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was.
    The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.
    Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
    Principal: “What is 3×3?” Harry: “9?
    Principal: “What is 6×6?” Harry: “36?
    And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.
    The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, “I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade.”
    Ms. Brooks says to the principal, “Let me ask him some questions.”
    The principal and Harry both agreed.
    Ms. Brooks asks, “What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?” Harry, after a moment: “Legs.”
    Ms Brooks: “What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?” The principal wondered why would she ask such a question! Harry replied: “Pockets.”
    Ms. Brooks: “What does a dog do that a man steps into?” Harry: “Pants.”
    Ms. Brooks: “What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?” Harry: “Coconut.”
    The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.
    Ms. Brooks: “What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?”
    The principal’s eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, “Bubble gum.”
    Ms. Brooks: “What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?” Harry: “Shake hands.”
    The principal was trembling.
    Ms. Brooks: “What word starts with an ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ that means a lot of heat and excitement?” Harry: “Firetruck.”
    The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, “Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong.”

  7. #1177
    New ROGer Array Zygomorphic's Avatar
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    As always, good ones, @Nackers! @Myk, that was a good comeback too. I've been having fun reading this thread the last few days.
    I am disturbed because I cannot break my system...found out there were others trying to cope! We have a support group on here, if your system will not break, please join!
    http://rog.asus.com/forum/group.php?groupid=16
    We now have 178 people whose systems will not break! Yippee!
    LINUX Users, we have a group!
    http://rog.asus.com/forum/group.php?groupid=23

  8. #1178
    ROG Guru: Brown Belt Array MeanMachine PC Specs
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    HaHaHa!!! I wish my kids were that smart Nackers. I really liked that one and so did my kids.
    We owe our existence to the scum of the earth, Cyanobacteria

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  9. #1179
    ROG Guru: Brown Belt Array MeanMachine PC Specs
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    The poor old man.

    An elderly man got onto a packed bus. No one offered him a seat, so he ended up having to stand in the aisle, leaning on his cane.
    When the bus stopped at the next stop,his stick slipped out from under him and he fell to the ground.
    A little boy who was sitting there near him said, "Hey mister!! If you had put one of them rubber things on the end of your cane that wouldn't have happened!"
    The old man replied,"Well if your daddy had taken that advice i'd have a f*****g seat".
    We owe our existence to the scum of the earth, Cyanobacteria

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  10. #1180
    ROG Guru: Brown Belt Array MeanMachine PC Specs
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    Oh bonny Scotland.

    A little old Scottish lady walks up to a Scottish man wearing his kilt and says, "Is it so, you wear nothing under there."
    He replies, "Put you hand up and find out". So she does.
    'Ach its gruesome" Says the little old lady.
    He replies," Well feel around a little and it'll grow some more"
    Last edited by MeanMachine; 04-27-2014 at 02:03 PM.
    We owe our existence to the scum of the earth, Cyanobacteria

    My System Specs:

    MB:ASUS ROG Crosshair VII Hero/WiFi GPU:EVGA GTX 1080 sc PSU:Corsair AX-1200i
    CPU:
    AMD R7 2700X Cooler: Corsair Hydro H115i Case: Corsair Carbide 780t

    Memory:G.Skill TridentZ F4-3200C14D-16GTZR SSD:Samsung 500GB 960 EVO M.2



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