Finally got my usb stick so i could do a proper install and not a net install. Anyway iv gotten things relativly stable and working.
What i did was install XuBuntu 12.10-desktop (says its 12.04 in the installation but its not). then ran update-manager from a terminal, exit out to console, sudo service lightdm stop. and then sudo sh NVIDIA-Linux-x86_64-304.43.run, go through the steps, it will disable novaue for you and then say it failed. reboot, exit to console, sudo service lightdm stop, and run NVIDIA-Linux-x86_64-304.43 again.
You will probobly be missing the nvidia tool entrys in the menus and stuff but not realy that important. anyway after that i hit software center (it crashes directly if i installed regular ubuntu with unity) and install ubuntu desktop (unity) from there. it will tell you about some minor conflicts i just accepted the resolve and then reboot and select ubuntu on login.
Will be testings from here. sofar so good.
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R4E, 3960x@stock, 16gb gskill 1600mhz cl9, cooler master cosmos 2, intel 520 60gb ssd, h100.