Not sure sarcasm is the best method to get a response from the community, but here you go, I will give it a shot.
I found in the past that the best method for key issues on a laptop is to replace them. I have done that successfully with a Dell laptop. I would suggest using a
SITE LIKE THIS or a similar site. The one I linked to does not have your exact model laptop, but I'm guessing if you ask Asus directly, the keyboards are very similar to yours for many models listed there on that site. Watch the cost, they are like 10 bucks or so a key.
Davemon50